I appreciate the comments
22nd Fevrier
I consider Yerwa, the shopkeeper just next to my front door, one of my good friends here in Bani. Neither of us really enjoys making small talk so we get along very well just by sitting around. When I finally did start asking questions I was rather astonished by how little I know about him. He is El Hajji’s nephew and son in law. I didn’t even know he was married, much less to his cousin, who he was forced to marry against his wishes. Now I know why he always looks pissed off all the time: He hates his wife and he really is pissed off. I feel bad for the both of them, not being able to divorce without causing havoc within the family. Plus, you don’t marry our cousin, it’s just fucked up. But they’ve made it through 8 painful years, and have a 4 year old girl. My host father in Yako once told me when we were discussing forced marriages: “If you are not hungry at first, start eating, and your appetite will come.” Not buying it. Luckily for Yerwa he can go for door #3, he can take a second wife. The wife, not so lucky.
The local elections are starting to heat up. I came home from school the other day to find a political rally inside my courtyard. This to me confirms that “the Haj” is the leading candidate for the PDS party. I even had the honor of eating a free lunch with the head of the party. It was like meeting the John Kerry of Burkina. It was interesting but in the end they made a real mess of my courtyard. Once I saw that someone took a shit in my shower, I was angry. They did clean it up, but….still angry.
The second trimester is coming to a close. I haven’t left the Sahel since it started so I’m feeling a little anxious to get out and find some civilization and speak some English. The other teachers are feeling it too. They are always talking shit about Bani and how worthless the villagers are. And if you didn’t know, Africans are racist, very racist. I’m sure the condescending tone they take with the farmers isn’t helping them improve enrollment at school. I have to admit however, that there have been occasions, like when someone craps in my shower, where I feel that on a fundamental level I am somehow better than they are.
23 Fevrier
Interesting story: My counterpart expelled a student today, and he almost lost his cool in class. He was not pleased when she stopped showing up for his classes and when he confronted her about it she told him to mind his own business. This is HIGHLY atypical behavior even for the upper class students. Boly told me that ever since she MOVED IN with the other science teacher (on school grounds!), she thinks she can do whatever she wants. Oh my, that was news to me. This is certainly one aspect of this culture that I will never be able to come to terms with. Again, no wonder no one wants to send their daughters to school! Give these girls a chance to be girls for a few years! I’ve even heard these types of things happen at the primary school level, and I refuse to believe it. But by the time they make it to 3eme (10th grade?), sleeping with the teacher makes you the most popular girl in school. It is bizarre watching them walking to school together in the mornings. I don’t like it. I was told that Bani means “peace” in it’s local language. I sometimes however find the French translation more appropriate: Banished.
25 Fevrier
Approaching the one year mark has made me a bit reflective lately. It feels like the longest year of my life; it has been tough. Of the 15 volunteers that made up our group, 11 remain. Africa just sucks you in and the memories of America seem like a dream world, almost like I’m not sure they ever even happened. 15 months left.
What have I got to show for my trouble? Have I accomplished anything by being here? Is this rash spreading? These are all normal questions for a PCV. The answers are not so clear. The goals of the Peace Corps however are unambiguous: provide technical knowledge and share culture. Yes, I fulfill my commitment to the Peace Corps, but honestly, this alone is not enough to keep me here. In fact I suspect that these grass roots aid projects are terribly inefficient if not completely ineffective as development programs. I always feel like I’m swimming against the current. This is not to say that what I’m doing has no value. I get a great deal of satisfaction from teaching my students, and if one of them grows up to help his people then my work here might be vindicated. I’m also doing a service to my country by doing positive things in the name of America. It is my theory that Peace Corps has survived many administrations solely on its value as a public relations tool.
But in the end, I’m not as selfless as I like to believe. I didn’t come here to serve my country or even to try to save Africa (although these are important parts of my service). I did all of this to change my perspective. This was my primary goal, and I feel I’ve made some good progress. It has been a painful process and a lot of lessons were learned the hard way, lessons that aren’t taught from textbooks. I grew up with certain priorities and a set of basic assumptions, and all of a sudden they stopped working. The sky is now green, deal with it. And eventually, you just get used to the sky being green. Then you start to question all of you assumptions, and therein lies the value of the experience. I am where I am supposed to be. I’m not wasting my time.
I consider Yerwa, the shopkeeper just next to my front door, one of my good friends here in Bani. Neither of us really enjoys making small talk so we get along very well just by sitting around. When I finally did start asking questions I was rather astonished by how little I know about him. He is El Hajji’s nephew and son in law. I didn’t even know he was married, much less to his cousin, who he was forced to marry against his wishes. Now I know why he always looks pissed off all the time: He hates his wife and he really is pissed off. I feel bad for the both of them, not being able to divorce without causing havoc within the family. Plus, you don’t marry our cousin, it’s just fucked up. But they’ve made it through 8 painful years, and have a 4 year old girl. My host father in Yako once told me when we were discussing forced marriages: “If you are not hungry at first, start eating, and your appetite will come.” Not buying it. Luckily for Yerwa he can go for door #3, he can take a second wife. The wife, not so lucky.
The local elections are starting to heat up. I came home from school the other day to find a political rally inside my courtyard. This to me confirms that “the Haj” is the leading candidate for the PDS party. I even had the honor of eating a free lunch with the head of the party. It was like meeting the John Kerry of Burkina. It was interesting but in the end they made a real mess of my courtyard. Once I saw that someone took a shit in my shower, I was angry. They did clean it up, but….still angry.
The second trimester is coming to a close. I haven’t left the Sahel since it started so I’m feeling a little anxious to get out and find some civilization and speak some English. The other teachers are feeling it too. They are always talking shit about Bani and how worthless the villagers are. And if you didn’t know, Africans are racist, very racist. I’m sure the condescending tone they take with the farmers isn’t helping them improve enrollment at school. I have to admit however, that there have been occasions, like when someone craps in my shower, where I feel that on a fundamental level I am somehow better than they are.
23 Fevrier
Interesting story: My counterpart expelled a student today, and he almost lost his cool in class. He was not pleased when she stopped showing up for his classes and when he confronted her about it she told him to mind his own business. This is HIGHLY atypical behavior even for the upper class students. Boly told me that ever since she MOVED IN with the other science teacher (on school grounds!), she thinks she can do whatever she wants. Oh my, that was news to me. This is certainly one aspect of this culture that I will never be able to come to terms with. Again, no wonder no one wants to send their daughters to school! Give these girls a chance to be girls for a few years! I’ve even heard these types of things happen at the primary school level, and I refuse to believe it. But by the time they make it to 3eme (10th grade?), sleeping with the teacher makes you the most popular girl in school. It is bizarre watching them walking to school together in the mornings. I don’t like it. I was told that Bani means “peace” in it’s local language. I sometimes however find the French translation more appropriate: Banished.
25 Fevrier
Approaching the one year mark has made me a bit reflective lately. It feels like the longest year of my life; it has been tough. Of the 15 volunteers that made up our group, 11 remain. Africa just sucks you in and the memories of America seem like a dream world, almost like I’m not sure they ever even happened. 15 months left.
What have I got to show for my trouble? Have I accomplished anything by being here? Is this rash spreading? These are all normal questions for a PCV. The answers are not so clear. The goals of the Peace Corps however are unambiguous: provide technical knowledge and share culture. Yes, I fulfill my commitment to the Peace Corps, but honestly, this alone is not enough to keep me here. In fact I suspect that these grass roots aid projects are terribly inefficient if not completely ineffective as development programs. I always feel like I’m swimming against the current. This is not to say that what I’m doing has no value. I get a great deal of satisfaction from teaching my students, and if one of them grows up to help his people then my work here might be vindicated. I’m also doing a service to my country by doing positive things in the name of America. It is my theory that Peace Corps has survived many administrations solely on its value as a public relations tool.
But in the end, I’m not as selfless as I like to believe. I didn’t come here to serve my country or even to try to save Africa (although these are important parts of my service). I did all of this to change my perspective. This was my primary goal, and I feel I’ve made some good progress. It has been a painful process and a lot of lessons were learned the hard way, lessons that aren’t taught from textbooks. I grew up with certain priorities and a set of basic assumptions, and all of a sudden they stopped working. The sky is now green, deal with it. And eventually, you just get used to the sky being green. Then you start to question all of you assumptions, and therein lies the value of the experience. I am where I am supposed to be. I’m not wasting my time.
posted by Adam Cohen at 3/01/2006
2 Comments:
hey adam, you're having some very powerful thoughts out there. thanks for addressing my questions. i'm thinking of you bud.
~ryan
Adam, always remember this one thing. Even in the states you had a roommate that would leave poop on the edge of the toilet, and he had more than any of these people. Feces on display is a natural part of mankind. I know I haven't been the quickest to comment but I'm always checking in and wishing you the best. Can't wait to see you back in this Dream World of free money and functional toilets...Keep it up...
-Matt
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